To understand why people keep hurting each other, even when they are trying to do better. Even when they hate hurting each other. Even when the solution should be easy, something like just replying to a message.
Fig. 1 — Neural network optimisation landscape
I could not make it make sense. No matter what I did. Until one day I realised there is an energy limit. When we hit it everything else goes out the window.
Then I saw how we are all trying to do better. We are trying not to hit our energy limit.
Then it hit me, gradient descent, optimisation theory. As soon as I saw that I saw the landscape. Then I knew the maths. I'd always intuitively understood human behaviour well, it was one of my obsessions. But suddenly I could map that intuition onto maths. It was a breakthrough. I knew I was onto something.
My only real problem at the beginning was I couldn't work out if the y axis was energy or "happiness". It kept flipping between them in my mind. I sorted that one out. It was both. Well kind of.
And then how to explain personality based motivations. I sorted that one out too. Though it's not for this theory right now. I will write that one up later.
As I unfolded the theory it started aligning with existing ideas—attachment theory, trauma responses, controlling behaviour. But it didn't just match them. It unified them. Gave them a shared structure.
So this is my theory. Mapped out through explaining human beings and social dynamics. Which is how it was developed. But I also have the maths. And this page is about the deeper intuitions. The intuitions about why the brain is optimising an emotion based landscape within a very strict energy limit.
Here are my postulates.
As a person I'm always thinking, hypothesising. My mind is full of intuitions and ideas. I've always struggled with the gap between what I'm seeing and what I can prove to others.
I always thought if I was more logical, had more evidence, explained more clearly, I'd be able to get others on board.
My theory is my success. I finally found a way to communicate what I feel is true. But it's also helped me see what was really going on. I was always seeking. I believed if others saw things my way they would be nicer, they would stop making the same mistakes, the world would slowly become kinder one person at a time. My theory is the accumulation of this. But now it's the new thing I have to find a way to communicate.
I'm a scientist. I want to progress science. I want to take this theory and write papers and get it into the world. But I also know that's a life's work. And it's not my life. My true satisfaction comes from helping people make better choices. While also knowing they probably won't, well not in obvious ways. That's my north star. Not chasing the permission to see the world the way I do.
This website is for my ideas. Wherever they may lead.
The brain is rarely disordered. The learning and actions it takes generally make sense based on past experiences and current signals.